Brain go to sleep and wake up in the morning.
Churning thoughts every minutes like you’re in consistent training for a marathon. I’m sure you’ll be fine just go to sleep.
Aren’t you tired little brain haven’t you thought of the same thing enough. I think it’s fine to close your synapse and snooze till morning.
Little brain so warn from the life you’ve lived and the days events take a nap. Relax, it will all be ok. Go to sleep.
Brain why are you awake so late. You have this beautiful opportunity to sleep and be rested before tomorrow. Sleep little brain.
Oh brain so sweet and so wise yet so stubborn to close your thoughts. The stories will begin again tomorrow. Go to sleep.
Goodnight sweet brain until tomorrow. We are never truly apart just resting.
Goodnight sweet brain.
Oh this tangled heart and how it yearns for the beginners love.
I’ve found myself in the trenches of lust and Love. Wanting the flesh and mind of someone not within the sanity of my marriage.
I’ve grown out of this brain fog and realized the sleepless nights, the countless fantasies, and muted words I spewed at this man were not worth the repercussions of an affair.
I can only dream of the thoughts he had and wonder if ever he looked at me with the same glimmer of hope I saw within him.
I didn’t want an affair I wanted a lover and what that meant for my family I have now I didn’t see because I only yearned for the warmth of his soul to enrich mine.
Where is he now you may ask. He’s in the same spot I left him. The causations of life will for the most part always keep us separated.
Is it strange to say I can feel his third eye staring back at mine with a fever that should seek some medical attention?
It’s inspired me to write these words and I wish I could thank him. Sadly as these moments pass the reality grows; the distance, our respective families and the consequences of a love that is whole heartily true would cause a great ripple that I don’t know we could bear.
Thank you lover.
The universe is crazy man. You realize we’re a spect in the scope of reality. Not even noticed if we took a picture of our galaxy. It’s an ever expanding mass of galaxies and matter that we can’t even properly decipher.
Yet, it brings us things. We have sunlight, water, and oxygen – the necessary ingredients to have life as we know it to exist.
Preposterous for us to think we are special in the scope of space but incredible to recognize we are in our day to day lives. We have gone on living. We have made it through wars, famines, and plagues.
We haven’t been here long relative to time but we’re here and our bones will remain. This new realm of data imprinting hopefully will last the millennium (I’ve mainly stuck to pen and paper for so long for the sole purpose of preservation).
Yet, we’re still here and here I am finally coming to the Internet.
I want us to be discovered or to venture out into the worlds of space.
It will be fun to see the egos of man widdle down to the humility of the human race and the mass to truly understand the potential nature of our existence.
I love life and it’s beauty. I wade through the turmoil and see deepest blue sky waiting for me. At the moment when the night is clear I talk to the stars and tell them how beautiful they are and thank them for this planet. I’ve had so many conversations with the stars I can’t even begin to tell you the details of each.
I’m drawn to the majestic unknown that our universe offers us. And I can’t wait to see our true potential.
I sit in silence and watch as everything passes by. I see things most may not notice. Like a blind man that can hear a needle in a crowded room. Or a deaf man that can see the tiniest details. The patterns of human behavior become apparent the more I watch. The pains of reality and the fallacy of dreams.
There are people trapped on their paths towards death. They don’t know it yet or maybe they ignore the feelings of doom but it doesn’t seem to inspire them. I’m unsure why.
I’ve asked a few how they view the world they see. The answers vary in description and most are wordy but it’s all the same. They understand that there is something more but they don’t pursue it. Some ride it off as divinity with religion. Others a spirituality of sorts. There are others who can care less and just fuck with the grace they have ever endangering themselves and the others around them.
I can leave bench coach.
I followed the paths of others just to see if I can find the feeling of home. That special warmth you feel when you see the love of your life for the first time. It inspires me.
There are so many avenues. So many ways that have been patched and laid out in front of me. I’ve read text books. I’ve listened to music. I’ve stared at works art.
The emotions of the human spirit expresses it self so often it would be callous of me to not stop and listen.
I must participate in the human nature until I can afford not to. I happen to blend in quite through the emulation of some great comedians.
My soul is tormented by unforeseen demons.
I can feel the universe pulling me in a direction and I don’t know where or what it’s trying to tell me.
Is this unknowning of these forces a cause of lost faith?
I don’t see anyone else standing staring at the stars pondering exsistence near me.
I don’t know why I’m chosen to look up, around, and down. The feeling of blinding shields irritates my soul to the point of mass frustration.
I’ve tried so hard to ignore the calls with insanity – oh the insanity of so many distractions. I could write a book – actually I should write a book.
The light that shines at the end of the tunnel – so bright and so shiny; it seems so friendly and inviting.
Just starting this journey once again and already the fearful thoughts of being truly crazy begin. You know what if I am crazy? Fuck it guess I’m going to be crazy.
I can’t ignore this mysterious pull to express myself via pen and paper. It’s like a rash that won’t go away. My only cure is to keep writing and maybe one day I’ll make sense
I shed tears for my 12 year old self that fell asleep and didn’t wake up till she was 23.
I find it strange that I have full awareness and yet just a moment later I can be profoundly lost.
It’s like a wave of dumbfounding amnesia glazes over my mind and I lose all insight to what it is I need to do in life to achieve my goals.
Yet, there are moments of such clarity that if I could only hold onto them long enough I’d be exactly where I’ve always achieved to be.
Is this a form of the mental Illeness that have swept our world or am just dellusionary hopeful that my mind has the ability to process the path my life is on and for some bleak moments I’m able to see where and what direction my actions and experiences are heading?
I honestly believe it’s the latter only because I’m the ultimate observer to my life and I’ve seen the change within as well as my surroundings
Now if I can only focus long enough on the path when it becomes clear and have enough strength to proceed when it blurs away to continue on it then maybe, just maybe the achievable will be achieved.
Where’s my talent and where do I fit in?
The way my brain circulates the universe at lightening speed I get exhausted by trying to host a conversation with a stranger.
I ponder the purpose of my thoughts and talk to the stars as if they are devine beings that are helping me to ponder the results of my days as well.
I see friends as aquantances when they try their best to assist occuping the time I spend on this planet.
My feet seem planted but I’m flying past Jupiter wondering how a planet of gas can possibly be so big (what’s the temperature around Jupiter always?).
I yearn to make money so I don’t have to work yet I can’t seem to figure out where to place my talents to fit into this “corporate” world. I’m also to scared to screw the 9-5 and work for my own will.
The bed seems so comfortable and the internet seems so intriguing – mindlessly I search for answers to questions I haven’t thought of yet.
My brain doesn’t stop – even in my sleep I’m swept away in bright colors and realatisc visions that would scare the average soul. I use to be able to see the future until I saw my mother leave and she indeed did a few years later.
I heard my named called by an unknown source once and I’ve been searching for that beautiful hyme ever since.
It’s taught me how human I am.
I sit on a park bench staring at the world and I wonder – is this life just a long love story.
How much the world love us and the pain we provide it.
How much we love each other and the pain we give each other.
How much we yearn to understand the experiences we have and the ignorance we give the miracles.
I’m staring at the world on a park bench… there are so many colors, smells, the breeze is cool and sways me.
I’m listening to Elvis – why do fools fall in.